Mind like a sponge, or just Sponge-Bob?

My friend Lisa thinks that my biggest flaw is that I expect everyone to be as focused, organized and/or “can-do” as I am. I expect people to know what they want, make a decision, go for it and to quit whining about not knowing what to do. Of course when people don’t meet my expectations, I am immediately disappointed, which tends to make me disappointed in a LOT of people a LOT of the time. Lisa informs  me almost every time we talk, “Most people aren’t like you!” Really? Why not?

So now, the joke is on me because it would appear that my son is not focused or organized or “can-do.” He seems to be unable to recall the simplest of details or use basic logic to figure out problems. Also, he has now learned what “excuses” are, and uses them whenever he sees fit.

“I just don’t remember things well,” says my six year old when I am quizzing him on his Italian homework.

“Jake, the phrase is una banana gialla, use your brain! What color is the banana?” 

Long pause.

“Orange?” he asks.

It sometime takes everything I have to not burst into tears when we are going over spelling words, Italian homework or math flash-cards. After all, this is MY son. Shouldn’t he have at least SOME of my stick-to-it-ness? And wait a minute; didn’t he in preschool? If I recall, he was destined for greatness at age 3, as stated by Miss Jones and Miss Maria. He knew every single Cleveland Indians player by name and number. He wrote his name early; learned his numbers and letters quickly. He even seemed to understand some abstract concepts! He was the first of his friends to be potty-trained and acted as the potty-whisperer to them, urging them to snap to it!  Stepping aside from academics, his sports aptitude was also great. He was hitting pitched baseballs by the time he could walk. He couldn’t run worth a darn, but what he lacked in speed he made up for in hand/eye coordination. Now, he will make himself fall in hockey lessons just to get out of trying to skate backwards, and he would rather not practice catching a ball or riding a bike because it is too much work.

Lest you think I feel like my son is a total disappointment, let me say that I do not. I am immensely proud of his artwork (– > ) and his attention to detail in that realm. I am also immensely proud that he is such a happy, care-free kid who is well-liked and who is polite and considerate of others. He is very lovey, and loves to talk and tell stories. He likes music and movies and has a great imagination. Indeed, he has an artists’ soul. No, I’m not disappointed in him so much as in myself. 

Now comes the self-doubt…..What am I doing wrong?……How can I make him understand that these things are important?……..Is this a phase?…….Did the public school screw him up this much in one year? or Is it a result of the new Montessori curriculum?……………What do I do?……..If I ignore it, he won’t improve, but if I push him he may hate school and learning forever.

I have never been one to compare him to other children, knowing that each kid is unique and learns at their own pace. However, I DO compare him to his preschool self. The one who was the leader of the pack AND an artist AND a jock. What happened to THAT kid? The kid that wanted to learn and was not afraid to try?  That kid stuck out 47 times in a row before finally hitting a ball and not once got discouraged. That kid had a memory like a sponge, but I think somehow the sponge might have gotten squeezed when I wasn’t looking.

There is no quick conclusion to this post. No “button”. No words of wisdom. I am serioulsy at a loss as to what to do, what not to do and how to feel. I hope that I can find it within myself to not expect so much out of him and others, but it is hard for me to not be me.

Can we? Really?

I hesitate to post this, especially since my friends Lisa, Claire and Joslyn are so extremely happy with the election results, but here goes: I am indifferent to Barack Obama.

That is not to say that I didn’t vote for him or that I didn’t want him to win. I did, and I did! However, I have never made that giant leap from skepticism to adoration. I have never felt truly inspired by him. I didn’t have a sign in my yard. I didn’t wear Obama jewelry. I didn’t go to his appearance with Bruce Springsteen on the Mall. I quietly supported him, because I did not want the Republican machine in charge of the next four years.

Understand that I do recognize that this was an historic election. The first person of color is president! It’s wonderful! It is also scary. I fear for his life and the lives of his family. If an ultraconservative nut-job can go blazing into a Unitarian Church and try to kill a bunch of kids performing “Annie,” then I am sure similar ultraconservative nut-jobs will plot to rid the world of our first black president. On the up side, I also recognize that after eight years of having an idiot lead us, it will be refreshing to have an intellectual do so.

I think my problem is this: I perceive the country to be so incredibly broken that it can’t possibly be fixed. I know in my heart that this one man will not be able to “change” everything his supporters “hope” for and “believe.” There is so much work to do, and 45% of Americans don’t agree on what that work should include. I think the world couldbe a slightly better place after the next four years, but not to the scale that Obamamania would make one believe. It will be nice if my Obama Mama friends are not let down, but for me, I’ll wait and see.