Special Children

In my line of work, not a day goes by in which I do not hear something along the lines of “My child is gifted.” This is almost always followed by the parent insisting that I make an exception for said gifted child by doing one or all of the following: Enrolling them in a sold-out class, Moving them up to a class for older children, Giving them a scholarship or discount to attend a class, Permitting their child to “help” our curators in their labs. With so many gifted children in the world, the future will be bright indeed. 

Don’t let my sarcasm fool you.  I’m not implying that there are no gifted children out there. Look at Alia Sabur, the youngest professor at age 19. I’m sure she was a gifted child! I just think that what many of  today’s parents consider “gifted” is somehow less than. For example, just because a child knows how to read Level 4 “I Can Read” books in Kindergarten, doesn’t necessarily make them ready to skip a grade. They may be able to read the words onomatopoeia or verisimilitude, but do they comprehend them?  What about their aptitude for abstract ideas? Can they think outside the box? What about math (and I do not mean math table memorization)?  Can they figure and apply math concepts into their daily lives?  We also must consider social aspects. Can your child interact successfuly with other children his or her age? Can they speak their mind in class? Do they feel comfortable making mistakes in order to learn? There are so many factors to consider before we can label a child “Gifted.” Intellectually gifted children show ALL of the aforementioned qualities, not just one or two.

I have a couple of theories as to why there seems to be this influx of claims of giftedness. Please keep in mind that these theories are based on no data whatsoever.  The first is that as children, the current generation of parents of school aged children attended 1/2 day kindergarten (if at all) where we learned our ABCs, colors, shapes and numbers to 100. Today children master these skills in preschool. Most Kindergartens are full day, and because of No Child Left Behind (don’t get me started, perhaps a future blog post) children are pushed to learn some things we didn’t learn until first or second grade.  They seem smarter than we were, because they are seemingly learning more earlier. 

Theory number two is that parents believe that if their child gets straight A’s the child is gifted.  Oh my! I got straight A’s, and I am not now nor ever was considered gifted. I was a gifted memorizer perhaps, which comes in handy when testing, but this does not make me smarter than anyone else. I have a friend who’s babysitter is an honor student. She gets all A’s and B’s in AP courses, and the poor girl is dumber than a barrel of hair. Grades don’t mean smarts. Which brings me to the parents of home schooled children and the Montessori parents who’s children don’t receive grades (For the record, I will be a Montessori parent next year, so I’m not dissin’ ALL  of these parents, just the ones who consider their kids gifted). Some of these parents believe that simply because their child is learning in a different way, they are automatically gifted.  I actually had a woman tell me the other day, “Samantha is a first grader, but since she is in Montessori, it’s like she’s a third grader, so lets just move her into the class for the 3rd-5th graders.” Um, no.  Even little Alia Sabur (see above) as a 6 year old probably felt a little uncomfortable mingling with 11 year olds, and I would have made her take the the 1st grader class.

Theory number three is simply that parents want to show off. If their child is smart, it means they are a good parent and doing their job well. Maybe they are even the best parent on the planet…which is impossible because I am They want others to be impressed.  Sorry, I’m not. 

If you think your child is gifted, I urge you to really think about it and perhaps get the child tested before telling everyone who will listen how gifted your child is.  I get that your child is “special.” I’m a mom, and my child amazes me daily with the things he says and does. He is my universe and the most special person on Earth. But he’s not “gifted.” He’s just a kid who knows a lot about what he cares about and who is still growing and learning.  One of my favorite quotes about this whole issue comes from the movie The Incredibles. Helen Parr (Elastigirl) says to her son Dash, “Everyone is special, Dash,” and he replies “Which is another way of saying no one is.” Tru dat, Dash.  So get over it.